The Little Things Part 2

In Part 1 I mused about our jigsaw pieces and to what extent we could, or should, legislate to protect children from media that may adversely influence them. In Part 2 I want to ramble on about taking  responsibility for ourselves and our children, although Ben Elton does this so brilliantly in Popcorn that I could just leave you to follow the link…

…No. Sorry, Ben, can’t do it. So here goes…

Yes, we are made up from random instances that for some reason profoundly affect our psyche but to what extent can we blame our adult shortcomings on childhood experiences? I believe the answer is quite a lot. That doesn’t mean, however, that we can abjugate responsibility for our adult actions or spend our time pointing the finger and seeking retribution. We need to take responsibility for the person we have become, look at those jigsaw pieces that we don’t like or that are hampering our happiness and try to reshape them. 

Easier said than done?

Of course.

And just to make it more difficult we need to take responsibility for the things we say and do that might shape a dodgy bit of jigsaw for someone else. Especially if we are in positions of influence. Like celebrities (yes, Rolf Harris, I’m talking about you again.)

And teachers…

I heard about two instances from the last few weeks of teachers who have treated students unfairly. Their actions may have cut a jigsaw piece for the youngsters concerned. I could also relate several more cases of pedagogical injustice from my peers who have, indeed, been shaped by their experiences – “I don’t think I’ve given 100% to anything since” is not the kind of legacy for which most educators are aiming.

Injustice seems to be quite universal in its ability to carve jigsaw pieces. The phrase “Life’s not fair, get used to it” makes me want to scream and pull my hair out, so often is it used to justify an unnecessary act of unfairness. Life is often unfair because of the actions of people and if we all tried a bit harder then maybe life wouldn’t be so unfair. I certainly have no intention of getting used to it.

This is werewolf on the wane.
It's way too cute for full werewolf!

Don’t get me wrong, I am very capable of saying outrageously unfair things (usually at the time of the month when the werewolf is lurking) Beardy Man takes a deep breath, removes himself to safety waits for the rational me to return, realise my unreasonableness and apologise.

Let's be clear, apologising doesn’t give us license to behave as badly as we like and then say sorry, but I’m sure many a jigsaw piece could have disappeared under a metaphorical settee if a few more apologies had been forthcoming.

 

The trouble is if we don’t take responsibility for our impact on the world around us, then injustice is almost inevitable. Because if we don’t take responsibility then the government and the courts have no choice but to legislate for every aspect of our lives. And rules that are made to control the few but apply to the many will inevitably be unfair. They will also stop those who were taking responsibility from doing so in the future.

It’s happening already.

And the more it does, the less we need to think, to consider consequences, to make choices.

Really? Who knew?

And the easier it is to blame someone else…

“Hey MacDonalds! I burnt myself on that coffee. You shoulda told me it was hot. Pay up.”

Maybe if we all tried not to say or do things that have a good chance of cutting a duff bit of jigsaw for someone else, maybe if we took the time and effort to make sure the children in our charge are not watching Saw or reading James Herbert, maybe if we said sorry when we know we’re in the wrong, maybe, just maybe, we could stop blame-culture from running rampant.

(Here endeth today’s lesson)